Heart on Different Sides
by dante the badger
Summary: Kilgharrah is concerned Merlin will die without an heir to carry on the dragonlord race, but is Merlin ready to move on?


**I am on a roll tonight :P just a little fic on a thought that came to me recently **

**disclaimer: i dont own merlin**

**xxxxx**

Merlin smiled as he saw Kilgharrah's massive form fly over the trees on the horizon. He hadn't seen the dragon in quite a few months and so he was looking forward to informing the proud creature of the news. But considering that the dragon was curiously up to date on most occasions, he wouldn't be surprised if the Great Dragon knew of the news already. Kilgharrah swooped down, folded his awesome wings and settled into a comfortable resting position in front of the warlock. He smiled in greeting.

"It is good to hear from you young warlock," he said, "I was beginning to wonder if you had forgotten me..."

Merlin scoffed. "I would never forget kin."He grinned up at the dragon.

Kilgharrah felt a strange, warm sensation in his chest. He was pleased that he and the last dragonlord were close allies. If he and Merlin didn't get on, it would be catastrophic to the dragon race, but it was also nice that his brother-in-soul treated him as family. Merlin was a true dragonlord. Balinor would be proud.

"What news of Camelot?" Kilgharrah asked, eager to catch up on the information regarding the future of Albion.

Merlin's smile was blinding. "The laws on legalizing magic are being written as we speak. Soon, magic users will be free to walk through Camelot. You will no longer be hunted, and I will be able to come out of hiding." He smiled further, "We did it!"

The Great Dragon felt a weight in his soul lighten greatly. The suffocating weight had been there ever since he had been imprisoned in that god forsaken cave. The pain of his great race being snuffed out, the hate of Uther Pendragon and the shame of being confined by something so weak as mortals. All of that left him when he heard Merlin's words. The years of suffering was ending. He had survived to see the end of it. That mean his race would too.

He faltered at that thought.

Would it?

Yes, he was far too old to produce any eggs, but the hatching on Aithusa was the answer to that problem. The young dragon would have centuries of time to produce as many eggs as he could. But what if there were no dragonlord's to hatch them? Merlin was the last of his kind. He had no successor, and it seemed like he wasn't planning on fathering a son any time soon.

Merlin seemed to sense Kilgharrah's discomfort. "What's the matter? I thought you would be pleased..." Merlin was completely confused by the dragon. He didn't have to hide any more. What was the problem?

"I am pleased, Merlin," the dragon explained, although his voice sounded tired and strained, "but at this point, my race will still perish."

"What do you mean?" Merlin demanded, "I thought you said that your race was saved the moment I hatched Aithusa!"

Kilgharrah sighed. "Yes, Merlin, but it will be years until Aithusa will be able to lay any eggs. Centuries even. You would have died before he would have come of the age of producing young."

Oh no. Merlin glared at the dragon. He knew where this was going. He didn't want to have this conversation. Not now; and especially with the stupidly stubborn dragon.

"You need to father a son"

"No."

The dragon recoiled, shocked at the sudden, short answer he received form the warlock. There was no pause; not even a moments thought for the boy to even consider what his denial meant to the dragon and dragonlord kind alike. The clarity of the answer had been disturbing. There was no misunderstanding between the two. Merlin knew and understood the horrific consequences of his answer were. After a beat of silence, the dragon scowled.

"Merlin! What is the meaning of this?!"

Merlin looked down. He didn't want to talk about this... not now.

"I can't." His response sounded painful and strangled.

"You dare defy your role as a dragonlord? Our race will perish and you will stand aside and watch it! You disgust me!" Kilgharrah was getting angrier but the second, the flames in his eyes burned with such ferocious passion, matching the flames in his throat, begging to be brought up and cremate their victim.

"I will...create an heir." Merlin sighed. He knew he would have to. It was his destiny. "But...not yet. I...I need time." There was a lump forcing its was up his chest and Merlin quickly looked down. He didn't want to show weakness in front of Kilgharrah.

Kilgharrah saw the warlocks discomfort, but was too enraged still. Since Merlin just agreed to father an heir, he saw his mission completed. With a huff, he forced himself off the ground and took to the air; giving himself and Merlin space to calm down.

Merlin couldn't swallow the tears. He wouldn't be able to go back to the castle for a few hours yet. Not since that stupid dragon forced the floodgate open. Freya's floodgate.

Freya...

He wouldn't be able to go back. Not yet. Her name pounded his head with every heartbeat that passed. Her face flashed behind his eyelids when he blinked. He could still smell her with every breath. No. He wasn't ready yet.

How could he even be with another woman when it felt like she was the only thing keeping him alive? No woman could follow one such as Freya. She was part of him, and always will be.

He knew that he would have to father a son in the future whether he like it or not. Kilgharrah was right. It was his duty as a dragonlord. He wouldn't be selfish and let a race perish over a little broken heart. He would move on. One day.

But not yet.

**xxxx**

**a lil angsty romance for ya :)**

**please review! I get so happy when i get reviews :P**

**dante the badger**


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